Feeling like giving up, what keeps me going?

No friends no family no support and opted myself out from 9 to 5 grind, how much longer will I stay in one piece?
p.s I already disappointed my adopted mum by skipping the lunch she prepared for me last time by indulging in oversleeping.. I mustn't miss this one. My conscience doesn't allow it.
Filmed on 16/04/2025 AEST
1080p @ https://youtu.be/iKk0dKc6dY4